


Conflict of Interest

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Episode: s17e04 Community Policing, F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:43:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5006932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hadn’t committed a single crime, at least nothing to write home about, but he and his friends always ran.  They were Cuban, the cops were white, and that was how it rolled in The Bronx.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conflict of Interest

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many thoughts and feelings about this episode. I felt it kept it real almost 100%. Liv is in an ugly position and people saw a side of her they didn’t like from where she stood. Rafael got to be the hero but who wants to be in a situation like this. In the end, if they love each other as friends or as anything, they are going to have to find their way to a middle ground where this is concerned. Anything beyond a working colleague relationship is a conflict of interest and nothing brings that home more than a case like this.

“Hey.” Liv opened the door and saw Rafael coming out of the nursery. He left Noah’s door half open. “I've been trying to reach you for a couple of hours. Where have you been? Carmen said you left the office hours ago.”

“I did. I turned my phone off.” He said.

“You never turn your phone off.”

“I didn’t want to talk.” Rafael shook his head. “I left the office and I came straight here to be with Noah. We watched _A Pup Named Scooby Doo_ , had a bath, and finally dug into _Where the Sidewalk Ends_. I didn’t want to end a day like this without seeing him.”

“I would’ve come with you.” Olivia said.

“I didn’t want you to come with me.” Rafael picked up his suit jacket from the arm of the loveseat and put it on. When he walked past Olivia he saw the surprise and disappointment in her face.

“Where are you going, Rafael?”

“Home. I think for every party involved it’s better for me to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“You think?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“I thought it would take something much more than this to shake the foundation of what we have.” She said. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Do you want me to say you were, Liv? Would that make you feel better in your self-righteousness?”

“I'm not being self-righteous.” She put her hand on her chest. “If there is a problem then we work it out together, as a team; that was always the deal. Every obstacle isn't easy. Nothing worth fighting for is.”

“You’ve already got a team…thousands of them.” He put on his jacket. “They have your back pretty damn well. I'm checking for targets on mine.”

“You knew I was a cop when we got involved, Rafael.”

“No, I knew you were a hero when we got involved.”

“I didn’t ask to be put on a pedestal.”

“You're right.” Rafael shook his head. “I need to go home and drink some more, clear my head.”

“Drinking does not clear your head.” Olivia said. “Have you even had dinner?”

He would grab something on the way. One thing she was right about, it was a bad idea to drink on an empty stomach. This was especially so when it would likely be scotch or bourbon that he consumed. He was too old for hangovers. Rafael already felt like hell anyway; no need to amplify it by a million. 

As hard as he tried, he couldn’t stop that damn video from running on loop in his mind. There had been a few times in Rafael’s life when he had run from the police. He hadn’t committed a single crime, at least nothing to write home about, but he and his friends always ran. They were Cuban, the cops were white, and that was how it rolled in The Bronx. 

He never wanted to end up a quota, what would today be considered a hashtag. His father always told him ‘you get arrested, the ass whooping you get from me will be worse than any cop’. But Rafael had seen what had happened to some of the guys on Jerome Avenue. The cops perfected the beat down long before his father even existed.

He walked toward Olivia and she took a step back. Rafael put his hands up, not sure if he was showing surrender or being a bit of an asshole. He leaned and kissed her lips. Olivia wrapped her arms around him and they just held each other for a few minutes. It was difficult to extract himself but he knew it was for the best.

“I love you.” He whispered. “I love you but we need space right now. Both of us have to do our jobs and it’s a conflict of interest.”

“All of this is a conflict of interest.” She replied.

“Well this is one that cannot be overlooked.”

“Did you lead the grand jury to water?” Olivia asked. Rafael was already at the door and about to open it. She didn’t ask to upset him, she really wanted to know. That seemed to be what the police thought but she knew him better than that. She was sure she knew him better than that.

“We’re not supposed to talk about the grand jury.”

“All the rules have been broken, Rafael. Fuck the rules. Just tell me.”

“I wish I could let you see it with my eyes, Liv. They asked me. I wish…the only way you could ever understand is to see what I saw with your own eyes. My intent is not to make some example out of these three cops. My intent is to show that if you can't do a job in the community without putting 35 bullets into a person, innocent or guilty, than someone with more sense needs to be doing that job. And you're still my hero.”

He walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. Olivia walked over and put her hand on the door. There was no point in going after him…there wasn’t a lot to say at the moment. She didn’t think that Rafael was entirely wrong. 

Was it wrong for him to go back to his condo for some peace instead of staying with her? Olivia wasn’t sure. She’d been a cop for a long time and made it all the way to Lieutenant. It would be ridiculous to assume in that time she didn’t see other cops do some detestable things. She couldn’t say that these three particular cops had the intent to do harm. 

She also could say that 35 bullets was the answer to anything but overkill. Rafael was going to fight this case tooth and nail like he did every other one. It wasn’t about City Hall or Dodds and Abraham, it was because he knew a wrong had been done against the people of New York County and it was his job to right that wrong. Olivia couldn’t bring herself to condemn him for his job when he’d never once condemned her for hers. Even sitting there in front of the grand jury, he still didn’t.

It was better to just let tonight end. Olivia would check on Noah, have a bite to eat with a big glass of wine, and go to bed alone. That last part was really getting to her. She needed him tonight and he walked out. 

She needed his arms around her…just Rafael and Olivia. The ADA and the Lieutenant could find themselves at odds over any given thing. Once they walked over the threshold of her apartment or his condo, they shed those skins. If he wasn’t there then how would she shake it off tonight?

Olivia managed to smile while looking at Noah. Never in her life had she seen a sweeter, more peaceful face. He would grow up in this world with so many advantages that kids like Terence Reynolds wouldn’t just because of the color of his skin. He would have more advantages than the man who was practically his father, just because of the color of his skin. It wasn’t easy to shake off the bad thoughts. She made her way to the kitchen and immediately pulled the big wine glass from the cabinet. It was the one that Nick bought her as a gag…she didn’t have the heart to tell anyone she'd used it more than once to actually drink.

The second drawer was where she kept the takeout menus. Olivia was in no mood to cook tonight. It was usually Rafael who would whip something up on their bad nights; cooking soothed him. He would walk around in those crazy socks, take his suspenders down, loosen his tie or remove it altogether. The glorious smell of something Olivia pulled out of the fridge, not even sure they could eat it, would fill the entire apartment. She took her phone from her hip and instead of calling for pizza or Chinese, she pressed 2 on and listened to it ring.

“Hello.”

“I need you here with me.” She said.

“I'm in the lobby.” He said.

“What?”

“I've been trying to leave now for damn near 20 minutes. Liv…”

“Just come upstairs, Rafi. No talk about work, no fighting, just you and me.”

“I'm so hungry.” He mumbled, sounded like a petulant child. He always sounded like a petulant child when he was hungry.

“We’ll order in and watch Netflix.” She said. “Come upstairs, please.”

“I'm coming.”

She hung up the phone and went to the front door. Rafael walked into her arms as if they hadn’t seen each other in months. Maybe they hadn’t. The ADA and the Lieutenant weren't exactly on the same side this go round. In the heat of things they wanted to, needed to, be those people. 

They would have to be again. Other nights would come where he wouldn’t be with her. It wouldn’t be feasible with everything going on. Both of them would hopefully find a way to put that in the box it was supposed to be in. Both of them would find a way to not give a damn about it for the few precious hours they had left tonight.

***


End file.
